Let’s Start a “Slow Friend” Movement

 Let’s Start a “Slow Friend” MovementI love living in New York City and am very happy here most of the time. This is one complicated, roiling, restless and electrifying place, different, I suppose, for each of us. For me there is no better place to feel more deeply alive.  But recently, I’ve come to see that NY is actually more of a City of Change than I anticipated and it’s beginning to bother me.

I’m OK with change as a rule.  It feeds the soul and keeps the brain circuits fit and firing.  However, it’s not just the change itself, but its cadence that has become wrenching for me.

Yeah, I know I need to deal.  This is not a contemplative place or a communing place or a particularly beautiful place. It’s a commerce place where people come to work and make money, ready to test their mettle.  As a result, in the words of my good friend Julian who has lived here for decades, “it can the loneliest place on earth” because it’s hard to find the time for friendship in the race to the top.  Here we make due with camaraderie..and we’re lucky for that much.

Favorite restaurants disappear overnight, replaced by new ones.  Favorite people, too, though I find them all irreplaceable.

Dealing is sometimes a drag.  🙁

My carefully assembled support team has dwindled as members have left the City for greener pastures or for the pursuit of love or just for a breather, having been spent in every way a person can be spent.  I understand, of course, and wish them well, having already mastered the art of well-wishing, but still, my heart is increasingly heavy with all the loss. It’s not trivial.  I’ve just gotten to know them enough to want to know more, but it appears that my timing is off and they are on to the next chapters.  I wonder if this is why so many New Yorkers are in such a hurry, loathe to relax and commune – because separation anxiety hurts so much.

There is a thriving ‘slow food’ movement in NY. Maybe we should start a ‘slow friend’ movement to encourage these dazzling people I like so much to stop for a minute and connect.  And then stay a bit longer.

Less Stress, More Success

"Her book has added to her reputation as a kind of guru of the movement to tame the college admissions frenzy.”
New York Times
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Our book group just read your book and it sparked more conversation than we’ve had in the seven years we’ve been reading together. Being successful professionals with busy lives and even busier children, we’re all trying to figure out how to find the time to just stop and enjoy our lives amidst so much pressure. Some of us find ourselves quoting you to our husbands and kids now, so you are our hero. ;-)
Sophia N. and Nancy R.

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